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husband comes home and finds wife with her suitcase packed. he asks where shes going.
"im going to vegas, i heard that you can get $400 for a b.j! so i figured i might as well earn some money for doing what i do for you for free."
the husband stands there dumbfounded for a minute, then heads up stairs. he returns a few minutes later with his suit case.
the wife asks"where are you going?"
"im going with you",he says,"i want to see how you survive on $800 a year!"

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a guy walks in to a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist,"hey ive been hearing about this viagra. does it really work?"
the pharmacist says,"ya, for a guy like you it should work really good."
"can i get it over the counter?" the guy asks.
" I suppose, if you take enough!"

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this lady wakes up one morning and tells her husband that she had a dream that she was at an auction for penises.
she says," the biggest ones were going for $1000 and the tiniest ones were $10." the husband replies."what about one like mine?"
'didnt even get a bid", she chuckles.

the husbands pissed! next morning he decides to get even and tells her he had a dream the night before where they were auctioning off vaginas.
'the tightest ones were goin for $1000 and the loosest ones were only $10."
the wife says,"what about one like mine?"
the husband smiles and says,"thats where they held the auction!"

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In my own defense.... All I can say is it's Friday, raining and I'm bored.

roadkill
 
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