Airline terms defined...
I've decide to post some benign sounding terms that airlines use and what they really mean...
"Scheduled Departure".... When they expect the pilot to be sober.
"Scheduled Arrival".... Guess made by them... total BS.
"Overbooked".... You aint getting outta here anytime soon.
"Diverted".... You are not going where you PAID to go.
"Non-Stop".... Unless you count the mountain you are going to hit.
"Mechanical Problems".... The fireball on the wing where that engine used to be.
"Water Landing".... See above... followed by the next term below.
"Flotation Device".... Any large piece of wreckage... don't bother, you are going to be shark food anyway.
"Un-Planned Decent".... Crash.
"Un-Planned Stop".... The side of the mountain you hit.
"Alternate Field"... The field you crashed into.
"Carry On Luggage".... The kilo of Coke you have taped to your body under your clothes.
"You lock the door and throw away the key. There's someone in my head, but it's not me."
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